


Violet Sky

by wordsareleftbehind (froggydarren)



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: CrissColfer Big Bang, Dom/sub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 16:19:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froggydarren/pseuds/wordsareleftbehind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Darren knows Chris likes to be in control of everything in his life as he juggles more projects at once than anyone else they know. But the cracks begin to show and what starts as a few calming words to keep Chris from falling apart soon becomes more than Darren has expected. He would do anything to keep Chris whole, but when he tries to find ways to help, he’s confronted with questions: is he capable of being what he suspects Chris needs and will Chris trust him enough to let him try? Will they be able to keep their friendship intact while they explore a whole new level of intimacy? The only answer Darren does have: he’s more than willing to learn.</i><br/>Beta read by <em><strong><a href="gnomerino.tumblr.com">Nomi</a></strong>,</em> pre-read by<em> <a href="pureklaination.tumblr.com">Cass</a></em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Dominant/submissive dynamic, power play, panic attack/anxiety. Kink warnings: barebacking, blindfolds, bottoming from top!Darren
> 
> **Playlist:** _[Violet Signal](http://8tracks.com/froggydarren/violet-signal?utm_campaign=tumblr_button)_  
>  _Signal Fire_  - Snow Patrol //  _Breakfast in Bed_  - Train //  _Where I Sleep_  - Emeli Sande //  _Christopher’s River_  - Biffy Clyro //  _Lego House_  - Ed Sheeran //  _Eight Letters_  - Robbie Williams //  _Parachute_  - Train //  _Hold You In My Arms_  - Ray LaMontagne //  _Let Them Talk_  - Hugh Laurie //  _Secrets_  - OneRepublic //  _Grace Kelly_  - Mika //  _In My Arms_  - Snow Patrol
> 
> Art by [Cloud](http://cloud-sakura.tumblr.com/): [#1](http://cloud-sakura.tumblr.com/post/74188936308/chris-breathe-for-froggydarrens-ccbb-fic-3) & [#2](http://cloud-sakura.tumblr.com/post/74189243377/for-froggydarrens-ccbb-fic-3)

It’s been there from day one, Darren thinks as he racks his brain for a starting point, he just didn’t notice in the excitement and newness of everything. Of Chris. He didn’t think it to be a sign of anything, just a part of Chris’ personality, the way he was always strung tight like a guitar string, always making Darren feel like the slightest nudge would make him jump. Darren remembers Mark and Cory making comments on it occasionally, the guys in the Pasadena crew throwing sideways glances at Chris towards the end of a particularly long day.

But most of the time, no one else seemed to notice, because Chris was shooting the majority of his scenes with Darren. The crew themselves paid no attention to how tense Chris would get by the end of shooting or rehearsal, but then, Darren figured, they had probably seen and heard worse.

It was the first time he asked Chris directly that made Darren pay closer attention.

_“You okay, man?”_

_An innocent question, in the middle of a gruelling rehearsal which has Darren panting, sweating and feeling muscles he didn’t think he had._

_When Chris mutters a barely audible “fuck off” out of the corner of his mouth, Darren’s eyes snap to him and panic rises in his whole body._

_“Chris,” he steps closer and disregarding the generally known boundaries that Chris has for physical contact, Darren puts his hands on Chris’ shoulders, “Chris, breathe.”_

Darren felt the tension leave Chris’ body immediately, relief flooding them both. That was his “oh” moment, the realization hitting fast and hard that Chris wasn’t just stressed or tired. Chris was falling apart and needed someone to hold him together.

It didn’t take much for Darren to realize he wanted to be that person.


	2. #1

The computer’s battery flashes an alert and Darren grudgingly moves to plug it in. He glances at the time in the corner and rubs his eyes, trying to not dislodge his glasses in the process. There are still no clear answers to what he’s trying to find out, but he isn’t willing to throw in the towel just yet.

It’s only been a few days since the rehearsal where he stopped Chris from collapsing to the floor, and his brain keeps bringing up flashes of the day. He thinks of how he’d reached for Chris, how he spoke in a calm tone and how the “breathe” seemed to instantly bring Chris back to reality. Nothing makes sense, though, and Darren clicks one link after another in his search for an explanation.

_Panic Attacks. Exhaustion. Overexertion. Stress._

He’s looked through all the possibilities he could think of, but nothing hits all the points that amount to Chris’ reactions. The stress and exhaustion are part of it, Darren is sure of that, but there’s something he’s missing, something vital, the one part that is likely to make everything fall into place.

The lack of useful information in what he’s looking through is driving Darren crazy. When his phone vibrates across the desk and he spots yet another text from Joey asking him to “get yo party on, man”, Darren sighs in resignation and closes the lid of his laptop. One text message to Joey later, he’s in his car and driving to where Joey’s told him the party is.

“Hey, man, long time no see,” Joey hugs him right in the door and then Lauren follows, already drunk.

Darren tries to focus on the party, but he finds his mind drifting elsewhere, enough so that Meredith and Julia come over to fuss about him. He brushes it off as tiredness from work, which is kind of easy to do since he’s only getting used to the sixteen hour days. They tease him yet again about the short hair, then a little more about the cheesiness that _Glee_ can be and is the majority of the time. He doesn’t mention much about Chris, though he can feel Joey and Jamie’s eyes on him when Chris’ name is mentioned.

He’s about to call it a night because even though he’s been drinking, it doesn’t seem to register with his body. That’s when someone in the group starts messing around and pulls out a scarf, deciding that it’s “Pin the dart on the photo” time. It’s a game they used to play before, but now, there’s something that makes Darren’s skin crawl. He’s, of course, dragged out to be the first one to get blindfolded and the moment the fabric covers his eyes, he feels like he’s falling. It’s a sensation he’s not used to and as the world around him is reduced to the quiet music in the background and voices that seem distant, he feels like a bulb starts flashing inside his brain.

“Guys, sorry, I… I have to go,” he says as he pulls the scarf away and darts out the door, calling out to Joey: “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

There’s a moment of considering whether he can look up things on his phone while he’s driving, but then he decides that getting into a crash isn’t the best idea and that he’s better off waiting until he gets home. That takes him a good five minutes less than it should, but a potential speeding ticket is the least of his worries, now that he’s finally had a thought that might actually lead him somewhere helpful.

Once he’s home and the laptop is booted up, he types in fast and then scrolls through the results even faster.

_Sensory deprivation_ is jumping out at him from each line.

Each of the links and comments seems to hint that it’s something helpful, that it makes a person relax more easily. He’s not sure how he’d go about suggesting it to Chris considering the level of trust it requires, but he files the thought to the back of his mind.

It’s something that might work. He felt it the moment the blindfold went over his eyes, and that was what made him freak out. He got scared because it suddenly hit him that what Chris needs might be something he’s not able to give him. Something a lot more complicated than a cup of tea or Chinese relaxation techniques.

_It’s just your drunk brain talking, Darren_.

But he knows it’s not, he knows it’s been sort of playing on his mind, at the back of it, before the blindfold. He’s debated the control issue before, when he saw how Chris got when he thought he was losing it, when things were not going _exactly_ the way he wanted them to. Darren knows that it is something Chris doesn’t let go of easily, but he remembers the one time when he told Chris what to do and how seemingly easily Chris relaxed.

_Taking control_ , Darren thinks, _Chris needs someone to take over thinking for him for a while._

It’s less wondering what he needs to do now than it is realizing that it’s the inevitable choice. What he needs to figure out is how to suggest it to Chris without getting scoffed at and without possibly risking that Chris will never talk to him again.

Somewhere in the process, it hits Darren that he’s not entirely sure that he _can_ do this. That he can be what Chris needs: a firm hand, leading him through something that Darren doesn’t even dare think about too closely beyond what they’ve already done. He dives deeper into research and ends up clicking out of tabs on his browser all too quickly when he comes across things he may have heard of but never considered. There are images in his head from what he’s seen that occasionally stop him in his tracks and make him wonder if he’s not biting off a little more than he can handle. Eventually, he pushes the more explicit parts of his research aside and focuses on the basics. He _can_ talk Chris into stopping and listening, that much Darren is aware and sure of. If whatever they do develops further, _if_ the things that he finds surprisingly erotic, though he never thought of them before, happen to become an option, then he’ll have to think about it again. For now, he still needs to find a way to present his offer to Chris and convince Chris that he can take control of the situation.

Days pass and he doesn’t get a chance to say anything, not on that topic at least. They talk about Chris relaxing a little more, but Darren doesn’t bring up the idea of the blindfold. Predictably, Chris laughs off the idea of meditation and anything that has the potential of making him _stop_ , even for a moment. Darren keeps psyching himself up to mentioning the sensory deprivation, and eventually ends up blurting it out, apropos of nothing at all.

“I have something I want to try,” Darren says into the silence of the trailer one afternoon, when they’re still in their costumes from the scene they spent most of the day on.

Chris has had an absolutely abysmal day on set, and Darren is all too aware of the tension under the pale skin, not only because of the way Chris is holding himself. It’s radiating from him, and Chris looks like he’s ready to fall apart or explode.

“Darren,” Chris rolls his eyes, “Don’t…”

“I’m not going to make you into a pincushion with acupuncture needles.”

“Darren.”

“I’m not going to offer you a massage with a happy ending,” Darren slides of the counter he was sitting on, “unless you want one? I can organize that for you.”

He’s trying to come off as nonchalant and funny, but he notices quickly it’s not getting him anywhere and Chris is now staring him down with a glacial look. Darren tugs his tie off his neck and lets his fingers play with it for a while.

“You trust me, right?” he asks, a little hesitation in his voice because he’s not entirely sure the answer will be positive.

But Chris nods and Darren sighs in relief, then his fingers tighten around the tie. _It’s now or never, Criss_.

“Close your eyes,” he says, his tone firm enough that seems to catch Chris a little off guard. Immediately, Darren loses sight of the blue eyes in front of him, and the way Chris’ eyelashes fall on his cheeks reminds Darren what he is supposed to be doing, “Breathe.”

He adds the word in an almost whisper, the trailer absolutely silent besides the sounds of their breathing. The hitch in Chris’ breathing is loud in the silence; it comes right when the tie touches the skin of his face, and then there’s another hitch when Darren reaches behind Chris’ back and ties it.

“Keep breathing,” Darren says and drops his hands to Chris’ shoulders when the tie is secure, “I’m not asking you to do anything else. Just stand here, breathe, and for a moment forget anything that’s running through your mind. Don’t move, don’t talk. If you need anything, say ‘yellow’. If you feel you’re falling apart in a bad way, ‘red’. Is that okay?”

Chris nods in response and Darren acknowledges it with a squeeze on Chris’ shoulder.

_So far so good_ , Darren thinks.

His plans didn’t go any further than getting Chris to breathe once he was wearing the tie across his eyes. Darren’s not prepared for any of the options he offered Chris, isn’t sure if he could get Chris out of a panic attack, should one happen. He’s winging it this time and hopes it won’t backfire on him.

Instead of the dreaded panic, though, Darren sees and feels Chris’ breathing even out and get more relaxed. He keeps his hands on Chris’ shoulders but holds a little firmer as the muscles under his fingers relax gradually. It’s only when he feels Chris veer off to the side that he realizes they should’ve been closer to the couch to avoid any potential injuries.

“Let me guide you,” he whispers, even the barely there sound enough to fill the small space, “We’re just going to move to the couch. Nod if that’s okay.”

Chris nods slowly and Darren wishes he could see his blue eyes. The feedback from Chris’ look is always that little bit more reassuring than anything else, because Darren can _read_ Chris by now.

“We’re right here,” he says, leading Chris close enough that he feels the couch hitting their knees, “I’ll turn you around so you can sit.”

Without hesitation, Chris lets Darren maneuver him around until he’s sitting on the narrow couch, and Darren’s mind acknowledges that Chris is almost falling asleep. So he sits down on one side, his hand still on Chris’ shoulder so there’s no reason to panic, then pulls Chris’ head into his lap, waiting until Chris has curled up on the couch. Then he moves his hand into Chris’ hair and rubs his fingertips over the skin underneath it. As time ticks away, Chris drifts off further, to Darren’s surprise, and doesn’t notice or flinch when Darren’s fingers catch on tangles and tug on Chris’ hair.

They stay like that, Chris not quite awake but not really asleep either, Darren playing with his hair and trying to stay as quiet and relaxed as possible, until a runner comes knocking on the trailer door, asking them for the wardrobe pieces that they’ll need for the next day. Chris almost falls off the sofa until Darren whispers that the door is closed and no one is coming in. He slips from under Chris and leans in to mutter “stay here” into Chris’ ear, then goes to tell the runner that they’ll drop the pieces off on their way out.

When he comes back to Chris, Darren finds him in the same position, curled up, but with his hands in fists, nails digging into his palms and Chris’ bottom lip being attacked by his teeth. Darren pulls on the knot of the blindfold and pulls it off, then gets Chris to sit up, reminding him to breathe a few times, until Chris opens his eyes and looks at Darren.

“Thank you,” falls out of Chris’ mouth with a breath.

“But…?” Darren asks, knowing that there’s more to say.

“This did help,” Chris waves towards the tie that Darren is gripping in his hands, “but I… I don’t want anyone to know.”

Darren’s eyes widen, because that is something he forgot to consider and took as a given.

“Of course,” he shakes his head and looks Chris in the eyes, “This is just us, I won’t tell anyone. It’s always been only between us.”

“Okay,” Chris nods and ducks his head.

“Really?”

The surprise is obvious in Darren’s tone, because he did expect protests from Chris, some sort of arguments against his idea, a slew of reasons for why they’re never going to do that again.

“Yeah, I…” Chris sighs and looks back up, “I felt like I could breathe for a while. Like not seeing the world meant that it could _wait_ for a little while.”

“Good. That’s…” Darren pauses and allows his lips to turn up into a smile, “...really good.”

“Yeah, so… thank you,” Chris smiles back with hesitation. “But for the next time, we should have something…”

“...that you can say to let me know you need a break?” Darren finishes when Chris pauses, searching for words.

“Something like that, yes,” Chris nods, his head dropping again and his fingers tugging on the bottom of his untucked shirt.

“I suppose ‘Hey Dare, come tie me up’ is out of the question?”

The teasing tone and chuckle that follows Darren’s question are enough to make Chris let out a stifled laugh, and when he looks up, Darren sees the blue eyes glinting with amusement.

“I was thinking something more _subtle_ , Mr. No Shame,” Chris laughs, “Not to mention no one said anything about me being tied up.”

Chris raises an eyebrow, then looks to the other side of the trailer and Darren catches the barely audible, “yet,” that Chris tacks on to the comment. A beat later and a shiver running down Darren’s spine, feeling like anticipation and a promise, Darren gets off the couch and looks down to Chris before offering a hand to help him up.

“Well, think about it,” he says, “I can suggest things, but it should be something that you’re comfortable with and that you’ll _remember_ to say when it’s needed.”

Chris nods and they start getting out of their wardrobe. It’s never been a problem for them to change in the same room, the rush to get ready sometimes requiring them to change in the closest place they could find. Now, though, after the moment of trust and closeness, it feels a little more intimate to Darren, like they somehow bonded with each other on a level beyond the one they had. It’s that feeling that compels him to, once they’re in their own clothes, lean closer when he’s grabbing the bundle of Chris’ Kurt outfit, and to brush his lips against Chris’ cheek.

“Text me if you need me later tonight, okay?” he says with a smile, then rushes out of the trailer, glancing back at a baffled Chris.

∞

It doesn’t take Darren long to notice that, once they’ve set up a signal, it’s not just Chris having the blindfold on that’s helping. That it’s not only having his sight taken away that calms him down. Darren also doesn’t really need the signal -- especially as Chris usually pushes past the moment of sensing that he’ll need it right through to the point where he can barely breathe without Darren intervening. It’s like he’s testing himself, like he’s actively fighting what might be good for him because of the possible implications.

Darren gets it, though, understands even easier when it finally clicks with him properly that what Chris needs isn’t just a friendly intervention and taking him out of the stress-triggering place. It’s a little more than just relaxing and eventually, one evening, after Chris has snapped out of an almost panic attack, Darren can’t stop himself from asking.

“It’s not just the blindfold, is it?”

They’re on the bed, Chris stretched out with his fingers wrapped around the slats of the headboard, Darren on his side next to him, eyes firmly on Chris’ face.

“What?”

Darren doesn’t back off, even though Chris is looking at him with what Darren has come to know as his “don’t start this now” look. It’s something he needs to know, because he’s sure he could help more. As before, he has sensed that what Chris is subconsciously looking for is beyond what they’ve done. And Darren is becoming more certain that it’s something he not only _can_ but more importantly wants to do.

“The blindfold,” he starts again, “ _this_ ,” he waves his hand between them, “It’s not as simple as just turning off the lights and having someone distract you long enough that you actually relax, is it?”

“Dare…”

“You…” Darren continues, trying to word his thoughts carefully but so they can’t get misinterpreted, “When you have the blindfold on, and when you let me… lead you… you drift off almost completely, but not like you’re just falling asleep.”

Chris’ eyes are closed, but Darren knows he’s listening, so he continues.

“It’s almost like you’re hypnotized, or at least somewhere in a safe place,” he speaks quietly, describing Chris’ reactions from his perspective, “I like that, but I think it’s not only because of your eyes being covered.”

He stops and keeps his eyes on Chris, waiting for a reaction.

“It’s not,” Chris speaks up slowly, “I don’t really understand it, but when you do that, when you put the blindfold on and make decisions for me, I do feel safe,” he glances to Darren and blushes. “I… in those moments, I trust you to do everything I need.”

“You get more like that the more I tell you what to do.”

Darren isn’t asking, he’s stating what he’s noticed. Chris nods at that and the blush in his face darkens.

“I guess,” Chris finally mumbles after a while, “I… it’s like, I’m there but I can still hear you,” he looks to Darren, “But only you.”

Darren hesitates. He has an idea of what’s happening, he has seen some things when he was researching the blindfold’s use, but he’s still not absolutely sure if it’s what Chris wants to know about. It’s what he’s pretty sure Chris _needs_ , but Darren has absolutely no idea how to bring it up. Especially since everything that they have done recently has been strictly on the friendship level, unlike their previous drunk fumblings and kisses and touches that had crossed lines neither of them talked about.

“There was something,” Darren starts and pulls Chris closer, wrapping his arms around the slightly shivering body, “that I have come across when researching the blindfolds.”

They’re in Chris’ house this time, spending a weekend of blissful break from filming away from everything. Darren didn’t even think twice to say yes to Chris’ suggestion to stay together during their days off, and they’ve been doing next to nothing. Chris is still in his pajamas and Darren in comfortable sweatpants, but when Chris leans into Darren’s chest, it is a reminder that neither of them bothered putting on more than an undershirt. Chris’ arms are folded in his lap and Darren lays his own arms over them, then laces their fingers together before he speaks up again.

“You did _research_?” Chris asks and turns slightly in Darren’s arms, just enough so they can look at each other.

Darren looks to the ceiling, somehow a little braver when he’s not stuck on studying Chris’ face and his reactions as he starts explaining.

“Yeah,” he nods and looks back up, “I wanted to know what I can do for you, when you were so stressed. The blindfold was a bit of a lucky happenstance, thanks to a game at Joey’s. But that made me think and I tried to look into it more. Fuck, the internet can be a scary, scary place, let me tell you,” Darren shudders a little at the memories of some of the hardcore websites he found himself on.

“So, what did you find?” Chris asks and Darren can hear the small hesitation in his voice.

Without preamble and really unsure how to ease into the topic, Darren takes a deep breath and blurts out, “Dominance. That’s what I found.”

“BDSM?” Chris almost squeaks out, his voice higher than usual, a tone that Darren knows as Chris being nervous and bordering on panicky.

“Not quite,” he reassures quickly and squeezes his fingers around Chris’ before continuing with a deep intake of breath. “Well, a part of it was veering into that direction,” he explains, “but those were the slightly terrifying images. Dominance and submission,” he says, letting his head drop a little, his chin resting against the top of Chris’ head. “That’s why I brought it up now, the way you relax when someone is leading you. When _I_ am telling you what to do.”

Chris breathes heavily in Darren’s arms and the moments of silence are making Darren rethink what he just put on the table. He is waiting for Chris to yell him down for the suggestion, to kick him out or run away screaming, but none of that happens. Instead, Chris shifts and turns until he’s facing Darren and despite the hint of hesitation in his face, leans in to kiss Darren softly.

“Tell me more?” Chris asks quietly and Darren lets out the breath that he was holding.


	3. #2

Really, he should’ve known that being on tour would add extra stress to Chris’ already insane load. He should’ve expected there being more and more moments of weakness, moments when Chris wouldn’t know how to keep breathing easily. Somehow, in the excitement over going out there and singing live to people, Darren has overlooked how being in a different place every night and in a different bed without the comfort of their own homes, Chris would tense up.

It doesn’t show on stage much, Chris still plays along with the skit, comes up with new things even after someone’s stupid comments pushed them both to challenge each other. Darren thinks it was Mark, making fun of Chris’ minuscule hesitation one night, that got Chris to show his stubborn side.

_“I bet I can crack up Darren and make him break character before he can get me,” Chris declares on the bus when Mark’s chuckling won’t stop._

_“I bet you can’t,” Darren pipes up from his bunk, then immediately hits his head against the pillow he’s clutching._

That was all it took, from then on, each night was a challenge, Darren trying to play off Chris’ word volleys, trying to one-up him on stage and planning for the next one. It’s taken him three concerts to realize that Chris is taking the challenge as seriously as it’s possible and that he’s squeezing in time to write ideas in between rehearsals and writing his book wherever he can. Darren is aware of Chris’ deadline for the book’s first draft, for no other reason than Chris’ promise to let Darren read it once the draft is complete. But all too often, he sees Chris dart away to a quiet corner to jot down ideas, shoulders hunched and a tense expression in his face.

“Hey, stop,” he tells Chris one evening when he’s just emerged from the bus, having finally napped for a minute.

“What, Dare,” Chris snaps, “I’ve to get to rehearsal.”

“It’s not for another twenty minutes,” Darren says calmly, “Breathe, Chris.”

He watches as Chris takes a slow breath and his eyelids drop.

“Chris,” Darren starts tentatively, when Chris relaxes the tiniest bit, “Do you… look,” he pauses and waits for Chris to look up again, “I know this is getting to you. I see you trying to do everything and I just wondered…”

“I can’t leave the book, Darren,” Chris grumbles, “And I’m not letting you win by default,” a smirk makes its way into Chris’ tired face.

“I know, I know,” Darren smiles in return, then his features rearrange into a serious expression again, “I was just wondering… about the blindfold and what we did before the tour…”

He pauses and waits for Chris to catch up to the thought process. When he sees recognition flash across Chris’ face, he lifts an eyebrow, expecting a reaction. It doesn’t come, though, so Darren keeps talking.

“It seemed to help you, so maybe we should try again,” he voices his thoughts, “We’ve drawn the same room for tonight and I’m not planning to go out, so…”

After a short moment, Chris nods hesitantly.

“I’ve looked into things a little more,” Darren adds, still keeping his voice low, “I can… we could… I’ll tell you after the show?”

“Darren, what…” Chris starts, but is clearly lost for words.

“I promise it’s nothing big, nothing we haven’t come close to before,” Darren tries to explain.

“Okay,” Chris nods.

“Yeah?” There’s a quiver to Darren’s voice, like he can’t quite believe Chris will go along with his plan, or even trust Darren enough to try.

“Yeah, okay,” Chris’ voice is firm, convincing, “I’d _kill_ for something to stop me wanting to, well, _kill_.”

Darren chuckles at Chris’ choice of words, “That might be a little counter-productive. Also, I’m not sure they’d let you write in jail. I heard pencils are considered a weapon, but you’d know about that anyway.”

A little less tense, they walk to rehearsal. Through that and then during the show, Darren can’t help but glance towards Chris every chance he gets, sort of still expecting Chris to back out, to tell Darren that it’s  not going to happen, that he’s swapped rooms. But it doesn’t come, and when they’re heading to the hotel, Chris instead curls up into Darren’s side, clearly exhausted.

Lea coos and Ashley and Amber smirk when Chris flips Lea off for the noise. But Darren’s fingers tangle into Chris’ hair, and that immediately makes tension lessen in Chris’ body. It’s only Darren who notices that, and for once he’s grateful for the general lack of physical boundaries amongst the cast. He does know, though, that out of the guys, he is the only one allowed this close to Chris. There’s no way he’ll question it, but it still makes him curious enough that it flashes through his mind whenever Chris is physically close.

“Hey, we’re here,” he whispers quietly to Chris who’s drifted off when the bus pulls up at the hotel, “Want me to grab your bag?”

Chris nods and stumbles out of the bus, mumbling that he’ll get the room keys and wait for Darren in the lobby.

Darren braces himself when he enters the hotel to find Chris. He does have a plan for the evening, but he also knows that there’s a very real chance that Chris will balk at his suggestion and run for the hills. He really hopes it won’t come to that, though. When he scans the lobby, Darren finds Chris curled in Dianna’s arms, half-asleep but perking up immediately when he spots Darren across the room. They don’t talk and Di doesn’t comment when they head towards the elevator and their room, even when she joins them on the ride. Darren can’t help but feel that she knows, that he’s a little more transparent than he wants to be. Or that she can read him better than others, because he’s pretty sure no one else has a clue.

“Chris,” Darren whispers once the door is closed behind them and they’re finally alone, “We’ll start now.”

He doesn’t wait for Chris to acknowledge the words, instead dropping the bags by the bed and walking towards Chris, a proper blindfold in his hand. He’s replaced the tie with something that they’d use exclusively in cases like this, partly because he wants tonight to not be a one-time deal.

“I’ll put the blindfold on first,” he says when he stops in front of Chris, “Like before, it’s yellow for pausing, red for a full stop. No talking unless I ask you to, okay? Nod if you’re fine with those.”

Chris nods and Darren takes a steadying breath. Then, he lifts his hands with the strip of fabric to Chris’ face and ties it over the blue eyes after one last reassuring glance in them.

“It’s relaxing we’re here for, but I want to try something more,” Darren continues, “I’ll need you on the bed, so we’ll move over there.”

He pauses, giving Chris a chance to say a safeword if he feels it necessary, but when none comes, Darren gently leads him over to the bed and asks him to lie down. When Chris does and stays still, breathing a little shakily but obviously slower and less panicky, Darren takes in the sight and feels his heartbeat speed up. What he’s about to suggest and, if Chris is willing to go along, do now is crossing a line in a way. None of his ideas are for things they never did before, but it’s the combination with the blindfold and the power dynamic between them that’s making it seem like a huge step.

“Chris? Babe?” Darren says quietly, aware of the almost overwhelming silence and the lack of need for speaking loudly.

Chris doesn’t react beyond opening his mouth a little and taking a deep breath when Darren climbs on the bed next to him and kneels by Chris’ side.

“I need to know something, before I try what I want to,” Darren says, and reaches for Chris’ hand, then strokes the back of it with his thumb. “We’ve kissed before, but I want to know, are you okay with me kissing you when we’re like this?”

He pauses and holds his breath, but he doesn’t need to wait too long before Chris nods, still not saying anything out loud. Darren lets the breath out and takes a deep one right after, trying to formulate the question that he wants to ask next.

“Thank you,” he whispers first and lifts Chris’ hand to his lips, then brushes a soft kiss over Chris’ knuckles. “Are you comfortable with us doing maybe… more in that direction?”

“Like…” Chris finally starts vocalizing his thoughts. “You mean, kissing more or making out?”

“Both?” Darren says with hesitation, since he isn’t sure how Chris will react yet. “A little bit of everything, but with me setting the pace.”

“For everything?” Chris says quietly and Darren feels the way Chris’ muscles tense.

A second later, Darren remembers. Before they delved into the experimentation with blindfolds, the times when they had an occasional night they spent together, Darren did suggest trying to slow down, drag things out when it came to sex. But it turned out that Chris, under regular circumstances, wasn’t too much of a fan of _waiting_ , or of being told no, especially when it came to pleasure. With that information in mind, Darren is also aware of how different this is, and wonders, calming Chris by stroking the back of his hand again, if delayed gratification could be the right step. Figuring he has nothing to lose and Chris knows how to stop Darren if it gets to be too much for him, Darren leans down to whisper in Chris’ ear.

“Everything, babe,” he says, clear enough for Chris to understand. “I’d say you can try, for me. You can hold off if I tell you to.”

He hears the hitch in Chris’ breathing, the quiet gasp that sounds nothing like protest, and Darren quickly realizes that the answer won’t be negative.

“Yeah… yeah okay,” Chris says, then bites down on his bottom lip and grips the sheets under him with his free hand.

“Thank you,” Darren says with a smile and squeezes Chris’ hand before he lets it go.

Slowly, he moves down the bed, towards Chris’ legs, and nudges them apart, then kneels between them and leans down over Chris’ body.

“What are the safewords, babe?” Darren asks when his whole body is only an inch from Chris’, his arms supporting his weight.

“Red for stop, yellow for slow,” Chris gasps when Darren lowers himself further, “and green for go.”

“Thank you,” Darren says and lets his body weight press Chris into the mattress. “I’m going to kiss you and touch you. I’ll stop to check in with you, but if you feel like it’s too much, the words are there, Chris. Please don’t think twice about using them if you need to.”

With that, Darren pauses and shifts a moment later so his lips are above Chris’, and he waits. Instead of a protest, he feels Chris’ warm breath against his own face, so he leans in the last inch and presses his lips against Chris’ soft ones. Almost immediately, Chris is kissing him back slowly, like he’s holding back because he doesn’t know what _he_ is supposed to do.

“I missed kissing you,” Darren mutters when he pulls away after a while. “I’m going to kiss you everywhere I can reach and touch you. We’re not undressing, not this time,” he says and smirks when he notices the tiny fall of Chris’ face. “I’m sure I won’t need that, babe.”

The only response he gets from Chris is a quiet, obviously held back moan that Darren lets vibrate across him, letting it reassure him that he’s on the right track.

“Okay,” he leans back in and whispers as he traces Chris’ jaw with his mouth, “I need you to stay still and let me do this. I’m going to kiss you,” he lands a soft kiss just below Chris’ earlobe, “and touch you. I’m not going to push for anything we haven’t done before…”

“...that’s still a lot,” Chris interrupts, his voice a little lower than Darren is used to.

“I’m aware, sweetheart, thank you,” Darren smirks. “That’s exactly why the clothes are staying on tonight. _If_ and only if you think this is something you _want_ or need, we can discuss steps ahead.”

“Okay,” Chris breathes out and gasps into the silence of the room when Darren shifts up.

The movement brings their hips closer and Darren grinds down a little, already feeling the heat and the sparks that are rushing down his spine. It’s not news to him that he finds Chris attractive and sexy, but there’s an extra layer to it all now, being the one in charge. He remembers feeling overwhelmed the first few times they were together in anything that resembled a sexual situation and how it was all so new to Darren. Exciting, yes, but it also left him shaky then.

There’s no sign of feeling unsteady now, though, not with Chris underneath Darren’s body and clearly holding back from moving against Darren’s small shifts and grinds. With each movement, Chris’ breathing becomes deeper, and small whimpers slip past his lips when Darren leans in again and again, leaving feather-light kisses along Chris’ jaw and down his neck. He lingers at the scar on the side for a moment when Chris’ head arches back and leaves his neck completely exposed to Darren’s mouth.

“Stay like that,” Darren whispers, and his tongue darts out to trace the length of Chris’ neck from his collarbone to the ear; then he retraces the path back and sucks gently on the taut skin.

He’s careful to not leave marks, aware of the constant presence of cameras while they’re on tour, not only while they’re on stage. But Darren can’t help but wonder if Chris will agree to repeat this, and if there will be a chance to leave some reminders, to kiss like Darren wants to and to see the evidence the day after. His hips shift against Chris’ again, and Darren groans at the feel of Chris’ hard on against his own.

“Fuck, I really, _really_ missed this,” he whispers into Chris’ ear. “Especially when you’re on stage in those tight jeans. Watching you move your hips like that is driving me crazy every night.”

Darren lifts his upper body higher, steadying himself on his arms, and immediately after his hips pull away from Chris’ he sees the small movement Chris can’t stop, the subtle shift upwards, chasing the contact.

“No, babe, stay right there,” Darren says firmly and reaffirms his words by putting his hands gently on Chris’ hips, shifting his own weight so he’s kneeling between Chris’ legs. “I’m the one who does all the work tonight; you’re just going to lay back and relax.”

With those words and after a small nod from Chris, Darren moves his hands, satisfied that Chris will not move his hips -- or anything else -- again. The fabric of Chris’ T-shirt is thin, but it’s just enough to buffer the touch of Darren’s fingers as he lets them trace patterns from Chris’ waist upwards, not lingering anywhere too long. He can see Chris biting down on his lip and glances to where Chris’ hands are gripping the comforter tightly. Darren knows he won’t be too hard on Chris if he does happen to move, the situation new to them both, the control definitely not something that Chris is used to. But as Darren continues to touch and seek out spots on Chris’ body that he knows are sensitive, he does notice, and he stops Chris trying to chase the sparks.

It’s when Darren moves to caressing Chris’ thighs through the sweatpants Chris changed into after the show that Chris’ breathing stutters stronger. Darren presses his thumbs against the inside of Chris’ legs and moves upwards, then stops only an inch from the center seam of the pants. He moves back with less pressure from his fingers, then back up and stops short again.

“Please,” Chris whispers, “Dare, _please_ …”

“Shh, babe, I’ve got you,” Darren soothes. He smiles a little when moving his hands back towards Chris’ knees earns him a protesting groan. “What do you need, Chris?”

“More,” Chris says, then pauses and stutters through his next words. “I… D-darren please, touch me. I’m... s-so close already, _please_.”

Darren lifts an eyebrow because despite them not having done anything sexual for a while, he didn’t expect Chris to be strung that tight and to be close to an orgasm already. But then, Darren feels his own cock straining against his pants, thanks to not only the sight of Chris in front of him, but also the accumulated arousal from the nights he watched Chris do his _Single Ladies_ routine.

“Just a little while longer,” Darren whispers and shifts his hands up, wrapping his fingers around Chris’ hips to both hold them down and to run his thumbs just by the sides of Chris’ cock. “Color, babe?”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Chris hisses out instead of answering, and Darren immediately pulls away.

“Not a color,” he says firmly. “I need to know, babe. Red, yellow or green?”

Chris gasps at first, then mumbles out a mixture of ‘fuck’, ‘please’ and a ‘green, so green’ thrown in between in a half-frustrated, half-pleading tone that makes Darren smile a little. He knows Chris is now lost in his head completely, and that he is a lot more relaxed than he has been since the tour started.

“Soon, sweetheart,” Darren lifts his thumbs and strokes them along the length of Chris’ cock, keeping his eyes on Chris’ face.

He continues the movements, stroking slowly and gently up and down, light touches alternating with a few firm ones. Darren whispers a “let me hear you” in between the movements, and Chris’ loud groan tells him that Chris won’t be able to hold back much longer. So Darren moves his hands away and shifts his weight again, slowly moving until he’s holding himself above Chris’ body.

“Whenever you’re there, babe,” he whispers into Chris’ ear and grinds his hips down. “Come for me, sweetheart, whenever you’re ready.”

“ _Darren_ ,” the name is like a plea on Chris’ lips, and it doesn’t take much longer, only a short succession of grinds and hip movements.

Darren catches the gasp escaping from Chris’ lips with his own, his own release hitting him at the same time as Chris begins shaking underneath him, his hips jerking up against Darren’s.

“Thank you,” Chris says after a short moment of silence when they’re both coming down from their highs and Darren presses his lips back again Chris’.

“Shh, it’s okay, no need to thank me,” he says softly as he starts lifting off Chris with slow, cautious movements because his arms are more than a little unsteady. “Let me get us a change of clothes and something to clean up. Do you want the blindfold off?”

Chris shakes his head. “Not yet. When you’re back?” he asks hesitantly.

“Whatever you want, babe,” Darren smiles and once he’s off the bed, he leans back in and kisses Chris’ forehead fondly. “Just a minute.”

He keeps glancing to Chris, who barely moves while Darren gets their change of clothes and the towel he finds in the bathroom. Once he gets back to the bed, he asks Chris about the blindfold again, but he gets a headshake still. It’s only when they’re both in their spare clothes and Darren has managed to maneuver Chris to slide under the covers that Chris whispers a quiet “take it off, please?” that Darren complies with easily. Chris turns to face him and blinks a few times, then his eyes close.

“Thank you,” he mumbles as he buries his face into Darren’s chest.

“You’re welcome,” Darren whispers into Chris’ hair and wraps his arms around the body that’s shifting closer to him with every breath. “You should get some sleep, babe. We’ll talk in the morning.”

Tiredness hits Darren just as Chris’ breathing is evening out and he drifts off, his arms wrapped tight around Chris, nose buried into the soft hair that’s tickling his face. 


	4. #3

Several nights later, Chris does admit that whatever they’re doing is helping him, that he feels safe and more relaxed when he’s with Darren and when he isn’t trying to control the situation. But despite the admission, Darren hears the finality in “thank you for letting me get through the tour”. He knows Chris sees their arrangement as temporary and expects it to end when they part ways at the end of the tour.

“I can…” Darren starts in the middle of a conversation before their final few concerts in Dublin.

He is immediately interrupted by Chris, who seems completely oblivious to Darren’s presence in that moment and is pacing around their room.

“I didn’t even know this was an option,” Chris rambles without realizing Darren was about to say something. “I mean, you hear these things but it seemed so…” he pauses and frowns.

Darren wants to walk over, wants to soothe the frown away, but he’s also a little annoyed that Chris won’t consider Darren as someone permanent. It brings back Darren’s worries about whether he’s the right one to do this _thing_ they have, to try and lead Chris through places where he depends on Darren’s guidance.

“It could be me,” Darren mutters quietly, knowing that Chris isn’t paying him attention. “I _want_ you to choose me, I want you to be _mine_.”

The sudden possessiveness that bursts through Darren with one word throws him. He expected feeling hurt, but the way he feels is a surprise. Yet when he looks at Chris and even tries to imagine seeing him walk away, seeing him with someone else and knowing that there is another guy privy to Chris’ moments of submission, makes Darren’s blood boil.

“We could always continue this after the tour, Chris,” Darren speaks into a pause in Chris’ rambling and straightens on the couch, meeting Chris’ eyes.

“That won’t be necessary, Dare.” Chris waves his hand in the air, dismissing the option. “I _am_ glad you showed me this, but I wouldn’t want to make you feel obligated to continue. It’s not on your shoulders; it shouldn’t be your responsibility.”

It’s in that moment that something in Darren snaps. He stands up and walks over to Chris, then places his hands on Chris’ tense shoulders. It reminds him of the moment this all started, of that time in the rehearsal studio when they were standing opposite each other in the same way. Darren moves a hand to Chris’ chin and lifts it up, then looks straight into Chris’ eyes.

“What if I want to?” he asks. “Do you think I’m not enough, Chris? Or do you not want it to be me?”

Chris shakes his head a little at Darren’s questions. “That’s not it, Darren. But this isn’t you, this isn’t how you are. You’re a people-pleaser, you do things _for_ others, not order them around. I can’t imagine this was easy for you.”

“Did you ever consider that maybe this _is_ me doing something _for you_?” Darren asks, feeling his stomach drop in a sudden fear that his decision to push it will ruin everything between them. “It’s what you need, Chris. It’s what makes you happy and that’s…” Darren pauses and his eyes close for a second as he takes a deep breath, “it’s all I want. I want you to be mine, and I don’t want to share or hand you over to someone else in this. I want to be the one you turn to.”

“Prove it,” Chris blurts out when Darren stops, both of them a little breathless from Darren’s confession.

“What?” Darren frowns, confused.

“ _Prove it_ ,” Chris repeats firmly. “You know you can get me close to subspace even when we don’t have time. Before the tour is over, prove to me that you can. I do want it to be you, Dare,” he says with a tone a little softer and reaches for Darren’s waist. “I’ve wanted it to be you from the start, but…”

“Chris, do you think this is an obligation to me?” Darren asks, his eyes wide.

“What else would it be?” Chris whispers in response and ducks his head.

“Babe, no,” Darren says and lifts Chris’ chin again so they’re face to face. “If you need proof, I’ll give it to you. I know you, you won’t take words only.”

“Dare…”

Darren leans in and presses his lips against Chris’ muffling the words Chris is about to say, then he pulls away and looks into Chris’ eyes with determination.

“Look, if I can’t prove it to you,” Darren says, “if by curtain call on the last night you don’t think I can give you what you need, that I can’t _be_ what you need, we’ll call it quits. No hard feelings, always the option of coming back if you need me. But let me try. Let me show you I can be that person.”

A beat later, to Darren’s relief, Chris nods and whispers, “okay.”

∞

The adrenaline is flying through him, rushing in his veins ever since the moment their lips touched up on stage. He’s still in shock that he actually went through with it, that Chris didn’t panic right there and then. But the whole day in the lead up to that, Darren couldn’t help but think of how this, kissing Chris without warning, under the guise of the challenge they had going, might be enough. How it might prove to Chris that they can cross the line they’ve drawn, that Darren can be what Chris needs in every sense of the word. That he can be dominant the way Chris wants and needs it, be strong and lead in more than just the silly little exercises they’ve done until then. That he _wants_ to be that for Chris.

He’s not entirely sure that it worked, not until the show is over. They’ve hugged and jumped and rushed off stage and into the dressing rooms, then into the bus and to the hotel. It’s only then that Darren gets the answer he needs.

Chris finds his way over and instead of breaking the personal space barrier, he stands a step away from Darren, conveniently lower as they’re standing on a staircase. He looks up, eyes wide open and with a pleading look in them.

“Please, Dare,” he whispers, and Darren understands.

He gets that it’s Chris saying yes to what Darren proposed before, that it’s his way to hand over the reins, to leave them in Darren’s hands and his way to show his trust. Darren doesn’t take it lightly, knowing well how much it takes out of Chris to trust like this, but somehow, they both know it’s not only what they both want, but also what Chris _needs_. So Darren reaches out a hand and waits until Chris grasps it, then smiles warmly, meeting the blue eyes.

“Come with me,” he says, no hesitation in his voice.

Chris follows him up to their room and Darren doesn’t stop to offer explanations to anyone. He vaguely notices Dianna’s smirk as they pass her and ignores little remarks from the guys, hoping that they won’t shake Chris’ decision. But nothing changes, Chris is still with him, no doubts in his face when they look at each other again in the elevator. The door closes, and Darren can’t hold back any longer, so he steps towards Chris and his palm gently touches Chris’ cheek.

“Okay?” he asks and the question is loaded more than ever before.

Chris nods, his lips parting slightly, tongue darting out to swipe over the lower one and Darren groans. Barely a second later, he’s surging forward, his lips pressing against Chris’ as urgently as they did on stage, tongue out to meet Chris’ before it manages to hide inside his mouth again. The kiss is less for show than it was on stage and there’s more to it. There’s the promise of continuing once they’re completely alone and have the rest of the night. Now, they’ll still need to watch the clock and be down in the bar to meet everyone else for the post-show party.

Darren feels Chris relaxing slowly, almost as if his muscles let go of the tension one by one, from the tips of his fingers to his toes. It’s only because he’s paying close attention that he catches Chris’ knees weakening and his balance being thrown off a little.

“Hey, babe, come on, sit down on the bed,” he whispers into Chris’ ear when he pulls his lips away from Chris’. “I’ve got you.”

Chris doesn’t protest and lets Darren lead him across the room, then falls onto the bed once his knees hit the edge, his legs unsteady. Darren chuckles and steps between Chris’ knees, then leans over and holds himself above Chris.

“I did say sit, but I think I like this better,” he mutters before he leans down to continue the kiss they started moments earlier.

That’s when Chris squirms a little in protest, but it’s weak and the grumbling quickly turns into a moan when Darren slips his tongue into Chris’ mouth.

“Is there anything specific you want, Chris?” Darren asks a while later, feeling the slight discomfort of having his knees pressed against the edge of the bed.

He’s determined to not complain, though, to make this about whatever Chris needs. He wants to continue proving that he can do this, that he _can_ be in charge but also focus what they’re doing on making Chris feel better.

“I…” Chris starts, but instead of words coming out of his mouth, he stutters on the one letter that makes its way out and his cheeks redden.

“You’ll need to ask for it, babe,” Darren smiles softly, “or I won’t know what it is you need me to do.”

Chris groans and lifts his arms above his head, his wrists coming to a rest next to Darren’s hands.

“Dar, I…” Chris tries again and his eyes roll to the back of his head when Darren runs his thumbs over the sensitive skin just below Chris’ palm.

Darren’s eyes widen in realization and he presses his thumbs against Chris’ wrists.

“Please,” Chris whimpers.

“Do you want to be held down?” Darren asks to make sure and breathes in when the response is a frantic nod of Chris’ head.

“Okay,” he whispers and shifts so he’s kneeling on the bed, between Chris’ thighs, then moves his hands carefully until they’re pressing Chris’ wrists into the mattress, “better?”

Chris nods and closes his eyes, breathing slowly and with deliberation that Darren only knows from times when Chris is trying to calm himself down.

“Can you…?” Chris starts a moment later, while Darren watches his face for any sign of protest, “could you lie down on top… so your weight is…”

“Yeah… yeah okay,” Darren nods and drops himself lower, lining his body up with Chris’.

Immediately, his body reacts to having Chris right there, underneath him. He tries to lift his hips to prevent awkwardness, but before he can, Chris’ hips thrust up and Darren realizes he’s not the only one reacting to the contact.

“Please, Darren…” Chris’ words come out as a whine, “I need… _fuck_ …”

“Need me to do this, babe?” Darren puts as much bravado into his voice as possible when he pushes his hips down, shuddering when his hard cock rubs against Chris’. “Want to come like this?”

“Yes, please,” Chris says in a small voice, his head thrown back and his neck on display.

Darren takes advantage of that and kisses along Chris’ collarbone, up to his jaw.

“What if I tell you that you can’t?” he mutters into Chris’ ear and feels the shiver run across Chris’ body. “What if I keep doing this,” he thrusts his hips down again, “until you think you can’t hold back anymore and then I’ll tell you,” he sucks on Chris’ earlobe gently, “that we’re going to go and party with the others. And that maybe after, you’ll get what you want?”

“Dar… _god_ , Darren,” Chris moans and shakes as he’s trying to hold back, but he doesn’t protest or contradict Darren’s words.

“Yeah, I think that’s what we’ll do, babe,” Darren smirks, his hips rubbing against Chris’ crotch with a slow, deliberately teasing rhythm, “we’ll stop here, then we’ll go out with the others, and you can show me what those hips can do on the dance floor. Then we’ll see what comes after. Maybe it’ll be you.”      

∞

Immediately after they get to the bar that the rest of the cast is assembled in, Chris gets tugged away from Darren’s side and onto the small dance floor in the corner. Darren can’t help but laugh when he hears the first notes of _Single Ladies_ playing and hears Chris’ groan over the music.

“We didn’t think you two would make it,” Lea pops up behind Darren, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Darren says calmly, his eyes following Chris.

“Not even for Colfer quality time?” Lea asks, and when Darren turns to her, he sees the challenging smirk on her lips.

“Maybe for that,” Darren admits, figuring there is no reason to pretend, not with the cast members who already noticed something is going on. “But neither of us is leaving yet.”

“We’re all happy for you two, you know,” Lea says softly and leans against Darren’s shoulder. “Chris hasn’t been this happy…” she pauses and sighs. “I don’t think he’s been this kind of happy before.”

“I would hope not,” Darren laughs easily, but the thought that Chris might have something similar with another guy makes him frown a little.

“You do realize that he has now turned into an incorrigible tease, and you’ll be at the receiving end of it, right?” Lea grins when they spot Chris breaking out of the dancing huddle.

Darren can’t hold back a small groan when Chris moves his hips to the song, the practiced choreography obviously easier to do after all the concert performances.

“I figured,” Darren sighs. “I don’t think it’s something to complain about, though. Damn, he can move.”

“And that would be enough information on my little brother’s borderline inappropriate dancing,” Cory states with finality, pulling Lea away from Darren’s shoulder and into his arms.

The way he suddenly appears makes Darren startle, though he really should expect Cory in Lea’s vicinity by now. For a tall guy, though, Cory is unexpectedly sneaky when he wants to be.

“He’s not _really_ your brother, you know,” Darren smirks, “I’m pretty sure there are people out there who…”

“Stop right there,” Cory pales at the words. “I really, _really_ do not want to know.”

“Go get your boy, Criss,” Lea pokes Darren’s arm. “I have a feeling he’s waiting for you over there.”

Darren glances to the other side of the bar and laughs at the sight of Chris standing off to the side, hands on his hips and a frown pointing in Darren’s direction.

“Whatever would give you that idea?” Darren asks with a chuckle just as Chris beckons him over with a finger.

Moments later, Darren is by Chris’ side and smiling wide when he puts his hands on Chris’ waist and feels the hips already swaying a little to the rhythm of the song currently blaring from the speakers.

“You called, sir?” he asks with a slightly mocking tone.

“I believe that’s my line,” Chris says and leans closer, brushing his lips against Darren’s neck. “I won’t be opposed to switching things around at some point, though.”

“Not tonight, though, sweetheart,” Darren mutters and tugs Chris closer by the belt loops. “Tonight, you’re _mine_ ,” he whispers directly into Chris’ ear and feels him shiver.

“We could have stayed in the room, you know,” Chris says and begins leading both their movements to the song.

“Maybe,” Darren nods, “but I got us a room away from everyone else. No holding back anymore?”

It’s not what he planned, to pose a question instead of telling Chris what they were going to do, but he does need that last bit of reassurance. He hopes Chris will understand that Darren is asking if they’re crossing the final line later. Until now, they had an unspoken agreement to keeping some clothes on during their scenes.

In the build up, they did discuss technicalities of safe sex, of course, and agreed that they _would_ have condoms at the ready, but would also leave the final decision for the moment they needed one. Chris pointed out early on that their pre-tour medical declared them both clean, which erased all worries about that issue. Both of them wanted to be prepared for getting carried away though, and Darren sensed that tonight, there were going to be no barriers.

“No holding back,” Chris echoes and wraps his arms around Darren’s shoulders, both of them ignoring the catcalls from the rest of the cast. “I want all of you,” Chris mumbles and then tacks on, “sir,” sending shivers down Darren’s spine, and all blood rushes down to Darren’s cock.

“Fuck, babe, are we playing in public?” Darren asks, his fingers gripping Chris’ jeans tighter. “Do you want to be a tease? Because I can play that game, too.”

Chris only pulls away to glance at Darren with an eyebrow raised in challenge, then buries his face in Darren’s shoulder again with a groan. It’s enough to let Darren know that this is one party they won’t be lingering at for too long.


	5. #4

The room is nothing special, no different from any other ones they’ve stayed in. But somehow, to Darren in that moment, it’s the most promising and most amazing room ever. The reason is simple.

Chris is standing by the foot of the bed, head down, hands behind his back, exactly like Darren has just told him to. And Darren can’t help but feel a little taller, a little bigger for being able to get Chris this way. He’s not even said much besides the basic instruction to Chris to wait and already there’s energy surging through him that he hasn’t felt before. He slowly walks closer and shrugs off the jacket he threw on at the concert venue, then tosses it to the side, not caring where it falls. Chris doesn’t look up, doesn’t move, but Darren can see that his breathing has evened out somewhat already and that his muscles don’t look like they’re strung on a bow.

“Chris,” Darren whispers when he stops in front of Chris, “Look at me.”

The blue eyes are a little clouded over when they meet Darren’s and he almost gasps. Unsure whether to continue when Chris is already falling deep, Darren lifts a hand to Chris’ cheek and rubs his thumb over the soft skin. Chris leans into the touch a little and seems to come back for a moment.

“Are you sure?” Darren uses the moment of seeming clarity to ask, “We don’t have to do anything if this is… if earlier was… enough?”

His words come out as a question, but he doesn’t necessarily expect a clear answer. He didn’t tell Chris to not speak, though and he _needs_ to be sure that whatever is to happen is something that Chris wants. That he’s aware of what they’re getting into, that there will be no going back from that.

“Please,” slips from Chris’ lips quietly, “Dare, I need… I want this. I want _you_.”

The words are exactly what Darren needed to hear and he leans in, pressing his lips into Chris’, hand still cupping the pale jaw. He doesn’t stop himself from exploring the taste of Chris’ mouth with his tongue, doesn’t hesitate any longer. They’re both a little out of breath when Darren pulls away and Chris’ eyes are glazed over, his lips still parted.

“I need you here for a moment, sweetheart,” Darren smiles at the image in front of him, “Can you come back to me?”

Chris nods and blinks a few times, but doesn’t move any more than that.

“Do you remember the safewords?” Darren asks cautiously, ready to repeat them, if necessary.

“Yellow for slowing down, red to stop,” Chris answers with a firm voice, “Knocking on the headboard or pinching you if you go for…”

“We’re not going to do that tonight,” Darren smiles when Chris rattles out all the options they discussed before, though only in theory, “I want to hear your voice. Maybe another time, if you want.”

Chris deflates a little and Darren can’t help but chuckle.

“I’ll try to find enough to keep you happy,” he reassures, then runs his fingers through Chris’ messy hair.

They’re both still a little sweaty from the club and it gives Darren an idea. He reaches down and tugs on Chris’ elbow gently. When Chris moves his hands to his sides, Darren reaches for one and links their fingers, squeezing Chris’ hand.

“I think,” he takes a deep breath to brace himself, “We both could do with a shower, sweetheart,” he says and watches as Chris’ eyes widen. “ _Just_ a shower… for now. Come with me.”

Chris follows him, and when Darren glances back, he sees that Chris’ eyes are trained on the soft carpet in the room until they reach the en-suite bathroom and walk inside. Darren leads Chris to the side of the shower, happy to see that it’ll fit them both comfortably.

“Stand here,” he instructs, “I want you to slowly take off your clothes and wait for me.”

There’s nothing quite like Chris nodding and immediately moving his hands to undo the buttons on his shirt, Darren decides. He doesn’t start taking off his own clothes just yet. Instead, he watches Chris shed layer after layer and piece after piece of clothing, until he’s only in his underwear. He hesitates then, his fingers tucked behind the elastic of the already tented boxers and looks to Darren, a question clear in his eyes.

“Everything, sweetheart,” Darren nods in response, “I want to see you.”

Chris’ fingers shake a little before he pushes the final piece of clothing down and towards his thighs. They’ve been naked with each other, but never in a bright light, never when Darren could see everything of Chris physically. There have been moments when Darren could see right through Chris and he’s pretty sure he knows more about the man than Chris has ever voluntarily revealed to anyone, but the amount of bare skin on display now still feels like a huge thing. Darren’s hand comes to his cock that is uncomfortably hard in his pants and he presses against it, trying to relieve some of the tension.

“Please,” Chris whispers and then ducks his head again like he thinks he spoke out of turn.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Darren asks and takes a few steps closer.

“Can I…?” Chris hesitates, then looks up to meet Darren’s gaze, “Can I undress you?”

“Would you like that? Even if I told you not to touch anything but the clothes unless absolutely necessary?”

Darren feels like he’s slowly gaining more and more confidence to lead Chris more convincingly. He’s also pretty sure Chris can sense the gradual difference, because he shivers and his lips let out an involuntary moan.

“Yes please,” Chris nods, “sir.”

“Go ahead then, sweetheart,” Darren smiles and brushes his fingers against Chris’ jaw, then down his neck and pale shoulder, “But those are the rules: no touching anywhere yet.”

Chris shakes a little under Darren’s touch, but doesn’t seem to be letting it affect him. He brings his fingers to Darren’s T-shirt and grabs the bottom edge, then slowly tugs it up, looking at Darren with expectation. A moment later, Darren’s chest is naked and his hands are falling back to his sides as the T-shirt flies across the bathroom. Chris’ hands are on Darren’s jeans by the time the T-shirt has fallen to the floor and Darren brings a hand to Chris’ wrist to slow him down.

“There’s no rush,” Darren speaks, “We’re not in a race about who can get naked faster. I want to enjoy this, savor it, _and_ make sure you’re enjoying yourself just as much as I am.”

The belt and jeans come off slower, Chris’ fingers catching on Darren’s skin a few times. What Darren isn’t counting on is Chris sliding down to the floor as he pulls the pants lower. But once they’re off, Chris makes no move to stand. He kneels in front of Darren on the cold tiles and looks up, the expression in his face taking Darren’s breath away. Then, a moment later when Darren has come back to himself, he feels the tugging on the elastic of his underwear and meets Chris’ expectant and impatient gaze.

“Go ahead, take them off,” he nods to Chris’ unspoken question.

He gasps in relief when his cock finally springs free, already hard just from the way Chris undressed him slowly, cautiously but eagerly. Once the underwear is off, Darren has a moment of being embarrassed at how he’s reacting to just the sight of Chris naked and on his knees. It’s quickly washed away by the sight of Chris, lips parted and eyes wide open as he looks up to Darren.

“Is there anything you would like?” Darren asks, his voice a little shaky for a moment as his mind floods with thoughts he really shouldn’t allow into his mind. Not unless he wants this to be over too soon.

Chris brings a hand up and hovers it close enough to Darren’s skin that he can almost feel the touch, but doesn’t break Darren’s order to not touch.

“Can I… touch you, please?” Chris pleads hesitantly, like he’s not completely sure that is what he wants.

Darren hears the uncertainty in Chris’ voice and shakes his head, holding out a hand to help Chris stand up instead. He leans in for a quick, soft kiss once Chris is on his feet and nearer Darren’s height.

“Let’s get in, okay?” Darren says while he pulls the shower curtain away, then he helps Chris into the small space, “Turn the water on for me?”

Chris nods, though his face fell a little when Darren denied his request to touch. But he doesn’t protest. The water is running within moments, and Darren steps in carefully, then pulls the curtain closed.

“Get your hair wet and then I want you down on your knees, sweetheart,” Darren says into Chris’ ear, pressing his whole body into the lithe one in front of him, “I want to wash your hair.”

“Yes sir,” Chris nods eagerly and brings his hands to his hair to spread the moisture to every strand.

Soon, he’s sinking down to his knees again, onto the soft anti-slip mat on the shower floor and tilts his head up a little so Darren can reach his hair easily. Darren reaches for the shampoo and his fingers are sinking into Chris’ messy hair moments later, rubbing the quickly forming foam into the strands one by one. He’s taking his time and reveling in the soft sounds of pleasure that are falling from Chris’ lips.

“Do you like this?” he asks, making sure to speak up over the sound of water.

Chris nods in response and pushes into the touch when Darren moves his hands away a little, then a hum of content echoes off the shower walls when Darren’s fingers continue the gentle massage.

“Come up,” Darren says firmly when he’s done and the foam is slowly disappearing.

He supports Chris while he’s getting up to his feet, but stops him from turning around so they face each other. Instead, Darren brings the shower head off the wall and carefully washes off the remaining shampoo, his fingers yet again tangling in the now clean hair.

Once again, Chris leans into the touch and can’t stop the small moan escaping his lips. Darren smiles, tugging stronger on the locks, listening in to Chris’ breathing and its changes as they become less subtle. A little while later, he puts the shower head back in its place and turns Chris around slowly. Immediately, his eyes turn down and his own breathing hitches when he notices just how much of an effect the past few minutes had on Chris.

“Is it the hair washing or the pulling that is a thing for you?” he asks a flustered Chris, bringing his hand up to the freshly washed hair, running his fingers through it.

Chris doesn’t look up, but mutters something that Darren doesn’t quite catch, so he moves his hand under Chris’ chin and lifts it up so their eyes meet.

“I asked a question, sweetheart,” Darren says quietly but with a firmness that is still not completely natural to him, “Tell me.”

“Both,” Chris breathes out and shivers when Darren’s hand slips down to his throat and then traces his collarbone, “I like both. I can’t decide.”

“That’s good to know,” Darren responds with a smile, “Now, time to…” he pauses, seeing Chris’ eyes flicker to his dark curls.

He hesitates, wanting Chris to help, wanting to feel Chris’ fingers in his hair, but the idea of kneeling isn’t one he’s too keen on, for various reasons.

“Would you want to return the favor?” he asks with hesitation, trying to figure out the logistics.

Chris nods and bites his bottom lip and Darren notices, as he looks down again, that Chris’ fingers twitch in anticipation. It’s then that he realizes there is a bench on the side of the shower, just behind Chris. He moves towards it and turns Chris as he does so, keeping them facing each other, then he sits down on the bench and looks at Chris.

“Do your worst,” he says simply.

He doesn’t miss Chris’ bright smile or the way his eyes light up while he reaches for the bottle of shampoo that Darren set to the side earlier. There’s calmness in Chris’ posture now, something Darren’s missed seeing during the tour, besides the few rare moments they’d found to themselves. Chris rubs the shampoo in gently, and Darren doesn’t hold back on the sighs of pleasure. It’s always been better for him to have someone else wash his hair, and the way Chris is running his fingers between the dark curls is that little bit better than any time before. Darren’s not new to having his hair washed; it happened often enough on set when he’d forgotten to do it before coming to the studio. But Chris’ fingers rub gently, yet with determination, with tugs that are precise and obviously deliberate. When Chris reaches around Darren’s head to wash the hair at the back of it, Darren can’t stop the quiet moan escaping his lips.

Immediately, since Chris is leaning over him, his waist about half way up Darren’s chest, Darren feels the reaction to his moan as Chris’ cock twitches, touching Darren’s heated skin. He brings his hands up to Chris’ waist, holds firm and arches into the originally accidental touch, his eyes fixed on Chris’ face, checking for any sign of discomfort. Chris whimpers when the tip of his cock brushes against Darren’s skin again.

“Now I really don’t know which you prefer, having your hair washed, or washing mine,” Darren laughs, not letting Chris move yet.

“Both,” Chris breathes out and sucks in a breath when Darren’s thumbs press into the little dips over his hips, “I like… _please_ …”

The word comes out involuntarily, Darren can tell, and it’s more desperate than Chris would ever sound in a regular situation.

“Please what, sweetheart?”

“Touch… can you please touch me?” Chris whimpers, clearly holding back from thrusting against Darren’s body.

“No,” Darren says firmly and holds Chris at a small distance, “Finish my hair, then I will.”

Chris moans quietly but returns to washing Darren’s hair first, then once the shampoo is washed out, he reaches for the conditioner and works it in, groaning whenever Darren shows a reaction to the touch of Chris’ fingers. It doesn’t take too long before Chris is pulling his fingers out of Darren’s hair and looking down with expectation and a little bit of a plea in his eyes. Darren knows Chris is not quite ready to beg yet, nor does he want that to happen immediately. What he does want, though, is to work Chris up to that point slowly.

“Touching, then?” Darren asks, though he knows the answer, then lifts up off the bench and moves a little closer to Chris, “I can to that,” he whispers and leans in to press his lips against Chris’.

When he does that, their bodies align and he can’t help the minuscule thrust of his hips into Chris’, their cocks bumping into each other. Chris moans at the contact, but doesn’t move into it. He moves his mouth along with Darren’s and darts a tongue out to run it over Darren’s lips.

“Now, it’s time to get you washed, then,” Darren smirks once he’s pulled away again, “Seeing as you’ve been dying to be touched _and_ you did an amazing job with my hair, it’s time for a reward.”

Chris stands still, but his eyelids slip down and he lets his head fall a little.

“Hey, no,” Darren lifts his chin up and waits until Chris meets his gaze, “Like this, no moving, I’m going to wash you and you’ll keep your eyes on mine. Do you trust me?”

“Yeah,” Chris’ answer is merely a whisper, but he does stay still, only blinking a little as he responds.

“Good,” there’s a tone of relief in Darren’s voice.

He’s still not sure how much Chris does actually trust him, but he’s willing to run with it. Hands covered in the shower gel, he starts running his fingers over Chris’ skin, from his collarbone and down over the shoulders. He doesn’t stop for breaks longer than a few seconds at a time, only to get more shower gel.

When he reaches Chris’ waist, he smiles wider, his touches more deliberately teasing as he’s reaching lower. He doesn’t continue past Chris’ waist though, instead runs his thumb over Chris’ bellybutton, then back up his chest until he lingers on Chris’ nipples, brushing over them. Chris’ reactions, the little hitches in breathing, the barely perceptible shiver, the way he’s fighting to keep his eyes open and on Darren’s send shocks down Darren’s spine, his cock hardening yet again.

“Lift your leg up,” he says to Chris, then moves his hands down to Chris’ knee and rubs his palms over the inside of Chris’ thigh.

Chris loses his balance for a brief moment, but Darren’s hand is there, on his waist, to keep him steady.

“Easy, babe,” Darren chuckles, “No injuries today, please.”

There’s a hint of a glare in Chris’ eyes, but he quickly mutters a “sorry” instead.

“Was it this?” Darren asks as his hand runs over the inside of Chris’ thigh again, stopping just short of where it meets Chris’ hip.

“Yes, sir,” Chris says back, his voice clear and eyes wide.

“Does that make you hard, sweetheart?” Darren leans forward a little, “Do you want more?”

Chris nods almost immediately, his eyes finally leaving Darren’s for a moment, then they turn back up.

“Is it the teasing,” Darren says as his fingers retrace their path, returning to Chris’ knee, “Or the promise of more?”

“You,” Chris gasps when Darren’s hand runs back towards his crotch, “Just, _everything_ ,” he whimpers when Darren runs his hand to the other side, not touching too close to Chris’ cock, which is now rock hard and leaking pre-come from the tip, as Darren notices when his eyes turn down.

He repeats the teasing movement on the other side once Chris switches his legs to prop the other one up on the bench.

“Turn around, sweetheart,” Darren says when he’s finished washing Chris’ legs, and the reaction is immediate. Chris turns without a word, but tries to turn his head towards Darren.

It’s what reminds Darren of the comment he made when he started washing Chris’ body, to keep their eyes connected and he frowns at himself.

“You don’t need to look now,” he says and runs his fingers down Chris’ back, “I don’t want you to strain your neck. You can look straight ahead, or close your eyes, whatever is easier.”

Darren notices Chris’ eyes closing before he turns away and then hears the hum from Chris’ throat when he runs his hands down the pale back, spreading the shower gel across it. He moves a little faster, his own patience stretched thin with the teasing that is having an effect on both of them. Reaching the dimples above Chris’ ass, Darren slows down a little and leans in to drop gentle kisses to Chris’ shoulders as he slides his fingers over the cheeks, then dips a finger between them. He takes a step back and lifts a hand to the middle of Chris’ back, pressing into it gently as he speaks.

“Bend forward a little, sweetheart,” he says and then sits back on the bench.

He only needs to lean in a little to have his lips reach Chris’ ass and he chuckles when he feels the shiver that the touch causes. The water is warm, so he knows the goosebumps are a result of his lips against Chris’ skin.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Darren whispers against Chris’ skin, his finger now sliding between the ass cheeks, “So hot, so _good_ for me.”

Chris moans in response to Darren’s words and pushes his hips back a little when Darren’s finger catches against the rim of his hole. It’s incentive enough for Darren to finish the washing quickly, and he gets off the bench and washes the shower gel off, running his hands over Chris’ skin in firm strokes.

“Okay, bed, now,” Darren says sharply a moment later.


	6. #5

Chris’ eyes open wide, but he doesn’t protest. He lets Darren wrap a towel around him once they’re outside of the shower and waits to be led towards the bedroom again. Neither of them speaks until they’re at the bed, facing each other, droplets of water falling from Chris’ hair onto his shoulders and making him shiver.

“Red, yellow or green?” Darren asks when he reaches for the strip of fabric that’s been left on the bed earlier in the day, like he’d expected to end up here.

Maybe he _hoped_ , at least, that his stunt on stage would lead here and not to them separated by multiple walls, literal and figurative. Chris’ face drops to the blindfold in Darren’s hand, then he looks up, eyes wide and clear.

“Green,” he chokes out, “ _please_.”

Slowly, but without a big production, Darren brings the fabric to Chris’ eyes and covers them. The change in Chris’ posture is immediate; he relaxes into the feeling of giving himself over to Darren. His heart speeds up in anticipation, which Darren can feel when his hand slides to Chris’ chest once the blindfold is secured.

“Thank you,” he whispers, leaning closer so his lips are almost at Chris’ ear.

He smiles when he feels the shiver run through Chris as Darren’s breath hits his damp skin. The temptation too strong, Darren moves his hand and traces the line of Chris’ neck and down to his collarbone. They’re standing so close, he doesn’t miss the movement under the towel still wrapped around Chris’ waist.

“Slow,” Darren mutters, more to himself than to Chris, “We’ll go slow.”

Chris sucks in a breath when the words are punctuated by Darren’s fingers trailing down his chest and hooking into the edge of the towel. It falls down with a soft thud and Darren has to stop and collect his thoughts. He takes a step back and lets his eyes travel down, from Chris’ face, taking in every inch of exposed skin slowly. His eyes catch the small movements of Chris' muscles, the shiver that, when Darren is focusing this closely, is visible.

He steps closer and knows that Chris can sense and feel the movement, or at least Darren's presence, because he responds a little, his fingers obviously itching to touch.

"No, don't," Darren says quietly and wraps his fingers around Chris' wrists when they move, "Don't touch, just feel, okay?"

There's an almost imperceptible nod and Darren smiles, glad for the moment that Chris didn't speak. He wasn't told _not_ to, but something about only responding in silence makes everything a little more intense. Darren lets Chris' wrists go and runs his hands up the pale and still a little tense arms, then cups Chris' face with both hands and leans in. Their lips touch and the kiss quickly deepens, Chris reacting immediately and moaning into it when Darren's tongue slips between their lips hungrily.

"Enough," Darren says moments later, after he pulls away and watches Chris chase after the taste of Darren's mouth, "Not now."

Chris stills and bites down on his bottom lip, but doesn't fight Darren's words.

"Color?" Darren asks as he runs his hands down Chris' chest and stops at his waist.

"Green," spills out of Chris' mouth and Darren reaches lower, thumbs running over the slightly softer skin of the hip joints, " _Fuck_ , green," he adds out in a breath when Darren moves towards the centre, through the trimmed hair at the base of Chris' cock.

Darren teases, moves slowly, only brushes at the base and around, not yet wrapping his hand around Chris' hard cock. He feels the way Chris is holding back from thrusting forward, growing more desperate for friction of any kind. Only moments later, Darren knows that Chris is getting closer to pleading for more, so he stops completely, moving his hands on Chris' hips and stepping closer, pressing their bodies together. He doesn't allow movement yet, not to himself nor Chris, just revelling in the way it feels to have Chris' skin against his own.

"Please," Chris whispers when he tries to move and Darren's hands stop him, "Dare, I… _please_."

"Not yet, sweetheart," Darren smiles, "Soon, though. Let me help you onto the bed."

Chris lets Darren lead him to the bed, but when he tries to kneel on it, Darren knows that's not what he wants them to do tonight. He presses Chris down and moves him so he's propped up against the headboard, then straddles his chest.

"Open your mouth, sweetheart," Darren says softly, his fingers on Chris' jaw.

Immediately, Chris' lips part and his tongue slides forward, waiting. Darren's eyes glaze over at the sight, Chris waiting so eagerly to have his mouth filled with Darren's cock that's straining against the towel still wrapped around Darren's waist.

Darren quickly pulls it off and tosses it to the side, not wanting to wait any longer. The moment he moves forward and braces himself on the headboard as his cock slips into Chris' waiting mouth, he groans at the warmth. Chris immediately wraps his lips around the tip and sucks slowly, not flinching when Darren's hips thrust forward at the feeling.

"So good, sweetheart," Darren breathes out, "Fuck, your mouth is perfect."

Chris hums around him and Darren bites his lip, trying not to just push into Chris' mouth like he's tempted to. Instead, he pulls off a little and smiles when Chris whimpers in protest.

"I'm not done yet," he says, caressing Chris' cheek, "But I need to do something else."

He reaches over to the nightstand and grabs the bottle of lube. Chris' knees move up and his legs apart at the click of the lid.

"No, babe, that's not what we're doing," Darren smirks and Chris moves his legs back down.

Darren knows Chris is confused, the line on his forehead a clear sign of him trying to figure out what Darren has planned.

"I'll take the blindfold off," Darren speaks, shifting a little down Chris' chest, "and I want you to reach up and hold on to the headboard then."

Chris nods, still frowning behind the stripe of fabric, but his arms are already halfway to the top of the bed by the time Darren is slipping the blindfold off.

Darren stops once the fabric is tossed to the side and lets his eyes roam over the length of Chris’ body, making absolutely no secret of the fact that he’s ogling. But he _can_ , so any embarrassment he might feel about it is pushed to the side as he takes in every inch of Chris pristine skin. In a sudden burst of feeling possessive, he feels the urge to mark it all over, to leave hickeys and to bite enough to leave soft marks so that even if no one will see them, Chris will feel them the next day. He files that thought away for another time and shifts back up Chris’ body.

When he sees Chris’ mouth open once he’s closer, Darren smirks.

“Eager, sweetheart?” he asks with a teasing tone, “Would you like to taste again?”

Chris nods, eyes glazing over again before Darren leans in and moves so his cock slips past Chris’ lips. He moans when Chris presses his tongue to the underside and shivers. But then the bottle of lube that he’s uncapped and left on the bed earlier falls over and nudges at his knee, making Darren remember what he was planning.

“Chris? Sweetheart?” Darren looks down and waits until Chris’ eyes turn to him.

It’s a sight that almost takes his breath away, Chris’ lips stretched around his cock while his eyes are wide open and questioning.

“Fuck, you look beautiful like this,” Darren strokes a thumb over Chris’ jaw, his other fingers gripping the lube bottle, “It’ll be a shame to not just let you do this.”

Chris’ eyebrows scrunch in confusion, but then he glances sideways and spots the bottle in Darren’s hand and they widen as he starts realizing what Darren has planned. He gulps and sucks on Darren’s cock and can’t stop the thrust of his hips anymore.

“Not yet,” Darren chuckles when he feels Chris move, “That _is_ where we’re heading, but I’ll need a moment.”

Chris’ hand comes down from the headboard and before Darren can frown and chastise him, he taps on Darren’s side.

“Oh, okay,” Darren pulls his hips away, since that’s their signal that Chris wants to speak.

“Can I, please?” Chris asks once his mouth is empty and nods towards the lube, “Can I do that for you?”

“You want to be the one to stretch me?” Darren asks to clarify, “While your mouth is full of my cock, you want your fingers to be the ones to prep me?”

“Yes, please, sir,” Chris whimpers, “I would like to do that.”

“One hand only, though,” Darren nods, “The other stays up.”

Chris nods and holds out the hand he’s brought away from the bed frame, waiting for Darren to squirt some lube onto it. He tries to warm it up a little, but it’s not easy with only one hand, so he brings it below Darren’s leg and towards his ass. Instead of saying anything or asking again, he opens his mouth, and Darren smiles then slides his cock into Chris’ mouth. When he feels the fumbling fingers trying to find their way between his ass cheeks, he puts the lube down and reaches behind himself to pull them apart, so Chris can reach.

The angle is awkward and not entirely comfortable, but Darren stops caring for a while when Chris’ finger pushes past the ring of muscles and inside him without waiting around. He feels himself open up easily, faster than he normally would, because he’s relaxing more thanks to Chris’ mouth sucking and licking around him. It doesn’t take long for Chris to have three fingers sliding in and out of Darren’s hole, both of them bucking their hips with the movement.

“Okay, okay, enough,” Darren gasps and pulls his cock out of Chris’ mouth.

He lets Chris pull his fingers out and groans at the emptiness, but then quickly shifts down Chris’ body and lines himself up to Chris’ cock. He doesn’t sink down on it yet, only sways his hips so it slides between his ass cheeks first. Moments later, it’s lubed up and slick and Darren’s letting himself lower slowly, the feeling of being full almost taking him away from what he has planned. He clenches around Chris’ cock, and they both let out a gasp.

“Hand back up, sweetheart,” Darren says firmly, but with a smile, “I’m going to ride you like this and you’ll wait for me, okay?”

Chris nods, his teeth biting down hard on his bottom lip as he’s trying to hold off his building orgasm, and Darren grins.

“I’m not going to make it too easy on you,” he says, “But not too _hard_ ,” he emphasizes with another clench of muscles, “not this time.”

Chris whimpers and his head falls against the pillow under it, his body stretched and tense.

“Lift up your knees,” Darren orders and then grips Chris’ thighs, “Just like this, babe, no touching, but you can fuck me as hard as you can. Make me come like this, sweetheart, be good for me.”

From that moment on, the only sounds in the room are Chris’ moans and Darren’s responding curses, the sound of their hips slapping against each other and the creaking of the bed. Chris shifts after a while and Darren lets out a shout when his cock rubs against Darren’s prostate. His cock twitches, and when Chris notices, he thrusts into the same spot harder, with more determination. Darren knows he’s not going to last much longer, so he lets Chris continue, meeting each thrust with a push down until he feels his orgasm rushing at him. Not long after, he clenches around Chris and comes with a shout, catching his breath when he stops shaking, but doesn’t pull away.

“Color, sweetheart?” he asks when he’s regained his brain capacity fully and notices that Chris’ fingers are white where he has them wrapped around the headboard slats.

“Green, sir,” Chris breathes out, then continues, “Please sir, I need to come.”

“You have been a good boy for me,” Darren smiles and can’t help the clenching around Chris’ cock that earns him a hiss, “Come for me, sweetheart.”

That’s all that Chris needs to hear, and he thrusts up a few more times, not moving his hands off the bed nor anything else but his hips. Moments later, his body arches up as he comes, and Darren feels the warmth inside him that sends a wave of aftershocks through him, his cock twitching like it’s trying to get hard again already. When Chris comes back down, Darren lifts up and lets Chris’ cock slide out, neither of them caring much about the come dripping out of Darren’s ass.

Darren slides to the side and leaves one leg over Chris’ then reaches for Chris’ hands and pulls them off the headboard, rubbing the fingers until the whiteness starts to give way to normal skin color. He’s met with no resistance, Chris’ eyes closed and his breathing heavy, but to Darren’s relief pretty steady. They stay like that for a while, until Darren starts feeling uncomfortable because of the drying come pretty much everywhere. When he tries to move away, it seems to bring Chris back to reality and he groans in what sounds to Darren like protest at the loss of contact.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he leans back in and whispers into Chris’ ear. “I’ll be right back, just getting something to clean us up. Unless you’re up for a shower?”

Chris grunts out a ‘no’ and stays where he is, but his eyes flutter open for a few seconds.

“Thank you,” he whispers and Darren smiles, then bends over and kisses Chris’ forehead gently, brushing the sweaty strands of hair out of the way.

“You’re welcome,” Darren says and finally lifts himself off the bed, wincing when his ass clenches.

He hears Chris mutter something when he’s halfway to the bathroom, but he doesn’t stop and instead moves a little faster to gather the cloths and towels he thinks he’ll need. He gives himself a quick wash, more to stop feeling like he’s leaking everywhere than to properly clean anything. Chris seems to be almost asleep again when Darren walks back into the bedroom so he moves as quietly and carefully as he can. Of course, that results in his knee hitting the edge of the bed and he bites back a ‘fuck’, but not fast enough.

“Hey, let me,” Chris lifts up off the bed and reaches for the towels.

“No, it’s okay, I’ve got it,” Darren shakes his head. “You should…”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish before Chris moves with dexterity that catches Darren off guard and then they’re kissing, the pile of towels dropping on the bed between them.

“Not that I don’t appreciate this,” Darren chuckles when their lips part and Chris leans his forehead against Darren’s, “but what was that for?”

“You,” Chris smiles softly, “just for being you. Thank you.”

“Ooo-kay,” Darren scrunches his eyebrows in confusion, but decides that any actual conversation can wait until the morning, which isn’t too far away anyway. “Let’s clean up and pull these off,” he points to the sheets, “then we can get a little sleep and talk afterwards?”

Chris nods and grabs a damp cloth, then begins to clean off himself at first, then Darren with another cloth from the pile, while Darren is still figuring out the logistics of changing the sheets with as little effort as possible.

“Does it hurt?” Chris asks and brings Darren’s attention back from the bedsheets, leaning closer and hooking his chin over Darren’s shoulders. Then he runs a hand down Darren’s spine and stops with his palm splayed against Darren’s lower back, a finger digging into the small dimple right above his ass.

“No,” Darren shakes his head and then wiggles his ass with a small wince. “Well, it does when I do _that_ ,” he groans, “but then I’m not going to be doing that right now.”

“Such a pity,” Chris smirks. “That was quite nice to look at.”

“Perv,” Darren grunts and wraps his arms around Chris’ shoulders.

“Like you mind that,” Chris laughs quietly and then stifles a yawn.

“Okay, babe, sleep time,” Darren pulls away and surveys the damage again.

“The other bed?” Chris offers and that’s when Darren registers that there’s another bed in the far corner of the room. “Did you forget that was there?” Chris asks with amusement.

“Had better things on my mind,” Darren smirks. “As you know, seeing as you participated.”

“Ass,” Chris swats Darren’s side gently and playfully. “Come on, let’s get the little sleep we can afford to have.”

“It will still be more than the others,” Darren shrugs and digs into his bag that’s on the floor next to, unsurprisingly, the other bed.

Chris nods and almost falls into the bed, shrugging off Darren’s offer of a spare T-shirt.

“Can we stay like this?” Chris asks when he looks to the clothes Darren is wearing. “I just…cuddles?”

“Christopher Colfer, the secret cuddle whore, who would’ve thought,” Darren says with laughter in his voice. “I have taught you well, it seems.”

“Sure of yourself?” Chris tugs Darren down on the bed and then onto the pillows. “Come on, sleep time.”

Before Darren can say any more, Chris’ eyes close and his breathing evens out. Darren knows better than to attempt conversation when Chris is like this, his ability to fall asleep within seconds still astounding to Darren. Despite having seen Chris fall asleep pretty much standing up, it’s still fascinating to watch how the switch between on and off works. He doesn’t get to watch for too long, though, his mind getting blurry pretty fast once they’re tucked under the covers and the comfort lulls Darren to sleep too. 


	7. Outro

It’s barely daybreak when Darren cracks an eye open and tries to get his bearings, at first not entirely sure where he is. But his eyes soon land on Chris, who, to Darren’s surprise is already wide awake and watching.

“Hi there, Mr. Cullen,” Darren quips, his voice a little hoarse as it usually gets in the mornings after a concert.

“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment,” Chris smirks, “but I’ll take it as one.”

“You are easier on the eye,” Darren adds, “also a lot more alive, which I prefer.”

“I’d hope so, I was almost getting worried that we should talk about a vampire fetish and biting,” Chris is openly laughing and Darren breathes easier seeing him so relaxed.

“So, how are you this morning?” he asks Chris tentatively, unsure what the answer might be, despite Chris’ cheerful tone.

“Good,” Chris slides closer to Darren and wraps an arm around his chest. “I’m relaxed and… fuck, I should not find it so hard to find the right words.”

“Hey,” Darren shifts closer and pulls Chris into his side, “don’t panic, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t regretting anything.”

“No,” Chris answers quickly, rests his chin on Darren’s chest when he moves and looks up, “definitely no regrets at all. Thank you, I really needed that.”

“I know, babe, I’m glad… I’m honored that you let me do that for you,” Darren smiles softly and pushes a strand of hair out of Chris’ forehead.

“Well, it’s not like you were having such a bad time,” Chris chuckles, then adds with a wink, “how’s the ass?”

“Surprisingly good,” Darren answers before he shifts a little and then winces. “Okay never mind that, I’m _really_ glad there is no show tonight.”

They both turn silent then, and Darren gets lost in the thoughts of the tour being over and his plans for the upcoming few weeks. He knows they’ll not see each other for a while, but while it doesn’t worry him as much - it is only three weeks and Chris does have filming planned so he won’t be sitting and waiting - Darren knows that not talking about where they’ll go from here is not good. Breaching the subject is not something that comes easily, though. Just as he’s about to try and test the waters for the talk, Chris moves up until his cheek is resting on Darren’s shoulder.

“I can’t believe you’re getting to go to the _Deathly Hallows_ premiere, you ass,” Chris interrupts the silence. “And I’m not going to start on the fact that you didn’t even think of asking me.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Darren immediately cringes, because he didn’t, not with everything that was happening between them and the tour’s load. “Joe has…”

Before he can launch into an explanation, Chris moves and effectively shuts Darren up with a kiss, then chuckles as he pulls back.

“I’m kidding, Dare,” Chris says, then brushes his lips over Darren’s again. “You told me why you’re bringing Joe, remember? And I need to be in LA anyway, we’re already skipping a lot of rehearsals because I’m coming in late.”

“I can’t wait to see you all professional,” Darren smirks.

“Are you saying I’m unprofessional on the Glee set, Criss?”

“I’m just saying, you better not have added any kisses to _Struck_ ,” Darren’s mouth turns into a pout.

“Are you trying to lay a claim on me?” Chris asks with a small chuckle, but then frowns when he sees Darren’s expression turn serious. “Darren? What’s up?”

Darren sighs, because he knows there really isn’t an easy way to segue into the conversation he wants to have, nor a roundabout way around what he planned for the morning. He cautiously slips away from Chris, then leans back in for a quick kiss and a whispered “just a second”, then tries to remember where he left his bag the night before. It’s when the cold air hits his skin that he realizes that they never bothered getting dressed and he quickly and clumsily grabs at the throw that fell on the ground by his feet and blushes when he hears Chris’ muffled laughter.

“Modesty now, Dare? That’s unlike you,” Chris says through chuckles and Darren tries to glare over his shoulder, but then gives up, deciding to stay on track with what he was going to do and digs into his bag.

When his fingers finally hit what he’s looking for in his bag, he shivers, but then grips the small package with determination and crawls under the comforter next to Chris. There’s a pause when Darren plays with the paper in his fingers and glances to Chris who is obviously waiting for an explanation.

“So,” Darren starts, then worries his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. “I don’t know if this,” he motions between them, “is something that you’d want to do after we get home. But I hoped that,” Darren stops again and fiddles with the package again until he tears a small hole through the wrapping paper, “that maybe it would become _something_. So I got this,” he finally holds his hand out to Chris, the brown crumpled paper on his palm.

He shivers when Chris’ fingers brush over his skin as Chris reaches for what Darren is offering and then watches the paper being carefully pulled apart by Chris. When the leather cuff is revealed, Darren holds his breath, waiting for Chris’ reaction.

“It’s… Darren,” Chris sighs and Darren sucks in a breath, still worrying about the response. “It’s perfect, Dare,” Chris finally says with a smile, his fingers running over the soft leather and the metal ring on the side. “I was hoping you’d choose to keep this… _us_ ,” comes out of Chris’ lips in a quiet tone.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” Darren smiles tentatively. “I mean, we’ll still need to talk things through, plan… but there’s no rush. We can,” he pauses and meets Chris’ eyes, “it’s three weeks from now until I’m home again. Think about it, okay?”

Darren reaches out towards Chris’ hand and wraps his palm around the one holding the cuff.

“You don’t need to make a decision now, or wear it,” he says, surprised that his voice comes across calmer than he feels. “Whatever you decide then, let me know. But in the meantime, if things get rough again, or you need something, I’m going to be on the phone. Without it being binding or anything,” Darren says firmly, then adds, “whatever I can do for you, I will.”

“I don’t need three weeks, Dare,” Chris says to Darren’s surprise.

He pulls away from Darren’s grasp and looks the cuff over again, then leaves a confused Darren on the bed as he slips off to look into his own bag on the other side. When he gets back moments later, Darren spots a small jade-colored pouch hanging off Chris’ finger.

“I didn’t know if you’d want anything to wear, or if you’d…” Chris takes a deep breath and Darren gasps when he sees a polished ring sliding out of the pouch as Chris turns it upside down. “I mean, even if you didn’t want to continue this, and I wouldn’t expect you to, I wanted to give you something to remember. You helped me get through this tour.”

Darren reaches across the comforter and lets Chris drop the silver ring into his open hand, but doesn’t linger on looking it over too long. Instead, he slides it onto his finger and looks to Chris with a smile. He’s met with a bright expression and Chris’ arm holding the cuff towards Darren.

“Put it on me,” Chris half-asks, then bites down on his bottom lip before he adds, “sir?”

Without dwelling on it longer, Darren reaches for the leather band and places it gently on Chris’ wrist, their eyes barely breaking contact. When the clasp is secure, Darren runs his thumb over the leather and blinks, still in awe that Chris has decided to let him help, to be the pillar of strength and the guidance that Darren has been trying to provide for the past few weeks. He’s shocked but delighted that Chris is letting him in and willing to hand over control to Darren, of all people.

“Thank you,” Darren mutters and then moves them both until their legs are tangled again, Darren’s fingers tracing the outline of Chris’ face.

He watches Chris’ eyes flutter close and leans in, brushing his lips over the crease between Chris’ eyebrows, then lowers them to bring their lips together.

“Just a call away, sweetheart,” Darren whispers between gentle kisses. “That’s how far I am, whenever you need me. And even if you don’t _need_ me, I’m there, okay?”

He waits until Chris nods slowly, then Darren pulls Chris until they’re pressed against each other and holds on, determined to memorize Chris’ smell and the feel of his body. Darren knows the upcoming weeks will not be easy, nor will the future, with what they have just decided, but he’s not letting go.

“Mine,” he finally mutters, suddenly feeling sleepy again, and begins drifting off when he hears Chris’ hum of agreement and the steady rhythm of his breath. Somehow, they’ll be okay.


End file.
